Spring is nigh, not tonight

February

I forget we’re still in the dead of winter. It’s only February. We should be still and slow. We should soak in the dark time while we have it. I know we crave the reassurance of spring, but we must not rush her timing, or ours.

You might’ve lost your Self, and it’s ok if you did. It should always be easy to find. 

Marinate a little longer. Notice the buzzing right beneath the surface. Don’t take the lid off too soon. There’s still time for cookin. No rush - really. No rush this time.

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I discovered today that both of my grandmother’s names mean “bright”. With that, I’ve decided to try their names on for size and refer to the music-maker in me, Clara Bertha.

I feel a pull towards it more and more - the brightness. I’m shedding the selves I no longer recognize.; the ones that got stuck in the dark. The ones I thought gave me character; the ones I thought necessary to knowing who I am.

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My imagination teeters into reality - something to keep track of. We should never let our ideas pose as Truth. We should always question and observe—like Science.

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When I want something so badly, that is exactly how I know I should give it up—the idea of it anyway. The mental hold. The internal grip. The wishing. Life is a process of letting go and giving up, over and over again. I am giving [life] to the brightness. I am giving myself to the unknown, with all the fear still folded up in my back pocket, as you should too. (You can toss it when you know it’s real.)

Final thoughts:

I hope you’re well. May you be happy. May you be safe. May you find peace.

All this gibber gabber is to say in vague terms that I feel I’ve been changed. Maybe that’s what took me song long to write something here again. I hope you’ve changed too, and I hope you like yourself a bit better, even if you had no qualms with the old one.

There is a brighter tomorrow.

Best,

Katie
- PoSR